Practicing Self-Compassion as a Parent

Tamara Zafiropoulos, Educational & Developmental Psychologist – Palm Tree Psychology

Parenting is one of the most meaningful roles we can hold - and also one of the most demanding. The vast majority of parents are deeply devoted to their children, yet quietly carrying self-criticism, guilt, or the sense that they are “not doing enough.” In these moments, self-compassion is not a luxury; it is an essential part of sustainable, nurturing parenting.

Self-compassion, as described in the research of Dr. Kristin Neff, involves treating ourselves with the same kindness, understanding, and patience that we would naturally offer a loved one. It invites us to soften the harsh inner voice and instead respond with warmth: This is hard right now. I’m doing the best I can. I am allowed to be human.

Caring for yourself is not separate from caring for your child - it is directly connected. When parents attend to their own emotional wellbeing, rest, and regulation, they are better able to co-regulate with their child, respond thoughtfully rather than reactively, and create a home environment grounded in safety and connection. Children and teenagers learn not only from what we say, but from what we model. A parent who practices self-kindness teaches their child that mistakes are survivable, emotions are manageable, and worth is not conditional on perfection.

If you are finding parenting challenging, you are not alone and you are not failing. Parenting was never meant to be done perfectly. Offering compassion to yourself may be one of the most meaningful gifts you give your child.

At Palm Tree Psychology, we see supporting parent wellbeing is part of supporting child and adolescent wellbeing. If you are a parent who is struggling, know that support is available.

Tamara consults on Wednesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. For more information about services, please visit: www.palmtreepsychology.com.au